Buying lingerie for your woman can feel as precarious as naked fly fishing in gale force winds. It probably seems like there are a hotbed of possible calamities and you worry that if you get any of it wrong, your anticipated evening of sexy sensuality could actually be sleeping on the sofa.
But worry not, we’ve considered it from every angle and put together a practical guide.
The word linger is in ‘lingerie’ for a reason.
Take your time over this, it’s not something to be rushed.
THINK ABOUT HER
In the era of the airbrush & Insta filters even the most stunning women don’t actually look the way they seem. I bet the likes of Selina Gomez and Scarlett Johansson are going to get a bit nervous the first time a new beau sees them in the buff. So what hope do us mortal women have when it comes to body confidence?
You want her to feel sexy as well as look it. So if there’s a part of her body that she really dislikes, it’s wise not to get something that leaves said area particularly exposed or accentuated. That said, sexy lingerie works for both of you, she needs to feel good wearing it and you want to enjoy looking at her in it.
So, whilst she might grizzle about how her bum’s too big or her boobs too small it doesn’t mean she really has a confidence issue with them. If in doubt, pay her a compliment and see how she reacts. A blushing ‘aww shucks naw’ is pretty much a thumbs up, but if the compliment is met with a cold stony silence or a slow, calculated ‘we shall never discuss this again’ return avoid framing this body area with frills at all costs.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO SAY?
Another judgement call is what you want to say with your purchase. For newer relationships, selecting something that is beautiful and reflects her personality will give you major points in the romance department. However, if you’re wanting to introduce a bit of adventure in to the boudoir, I see no problem with something risqué.
But you’ve got to use your noggin with this, I wouldn’t try taking her out of her comfort zone, for example, if all her undies are pastel cottons she’ll probably be rather miffed when faced with a black studded PVC open crotch number.
If the latter is your thing then I’d suggest raising the raunch factor gradually, taking your purchases up a notch each time but only if the feedback remains positive.
CHOOSING A STYLE
Don’t get too bogged down with getting something that’s similar to the styles she already has. Something new could well be something she wouldn’t have thought of but loves. A boyfriend once gave me a grey negligee that wasn’t something I would have picked out and I loved it so much I wore it until it was threadbare.
Breast Support & Bum Coverage
Just be mindful, that if she wears underwired/support bras all the time then she probably won’t feel too confident in a garment that offers no support. And if she doesn’t own one thong or g-string then go for briefs or camisole knickers.
Fabric & Colour
Lingerie comes in all sorts of fabrics, the best materials for comfort (soft on the skin, easy movement, breathable) are cottons, silks & satins, these are often mixed with manmade fibres such as spandex, polyester & nylon which is absolutely fine. Obvious sensitive areas to be mindful of are around the nipple and day ware panties should always have a lining.
Comfort is of course not the main priority for a night of sauciness and that’s when your more scratchy lace, teeny tiny g-strings, PVC and leather could work a treat. But fellas when it comes to PVC bear in mind that it can bulge out in surprising areas on your fuller figured woman.
You probably already know what different coloured lingerie is supposed to signify; red & burgundy are considered the most raunchy and whites/creams the most innocent. These days however, a lot of products come with a mix of colours and these can often be the most pretty.
WHAT’S THE OCCASION?
If you want to get something that’s purely for bedroom antics I’d suggest not buying it for her birthday or for Christmas. Whilst perfect for Valentines or just as a surprise gift, it is unashamedly a gift that you will benefit from and you could well be entering the mother of all fights if she sees it as selfish and thoughtless.
But sexy and comfortable is a winner at any time!
HOW TO GIFT IT
A nice plain gift bag will do the trick nicely (available from any stationers)! Or even better, a lingerie box. But plastic bags are a no-no!
GETTING THE RIGHT SIZE
The only way to know this is to do a spot of stealthy reconnaissance in her drawers (the furniture kind in this instance). But make sure you’re checking the labels of underwear she wears regularly. Us girls are known to hold on to favourites long after all hope is lost of them ever actually fitting again.
I’m sure you’re all savvy to the way bras & knickers are sized but if you’re looking to buy a babydoll, teddie etc. you’ll need a bit more info;
General sizing for women in the UK goes up in twos, women’s shapes vary though. A woman can be a different size on top and bottom, if that’s the case go for the bigger size if you’re getting an ‘all in one’.
These days lingerie sizes can also work from Small through to XXL, if that’s the case, here are the equivalents (along with more specific measurements that might be of use).
UK LINGERIE SIZES
Traditionally even the thought of this can trigger red faces and sweaty palms in most men, not a good look in a lingerie shop. But stand tall, you have as much right to be there as anyone else. And no one really cares these days anyway.
However, online is probably going to be the better option, not only to avoid any awkwardness but because you can see the lingerie on an actual woman rather than limply hanging on a rail or a headless mannequin.
Online or in store, it’s always best to keep the receipt, you fellas aren’t expected to always get these things right. If she doesn’t like it, don’t feel bad and that way she gets the option to exchange for something she will love.
Remember that buying her lingerie is meant to bring you both closer together. Whether you want to add romance or adventure in to your relationship (or both!), if you’ve put a lot of thought in to it, it shows how much you care. And whilst she will probably love your considered selection, even if she doesn’t she will be touched that you put the time and energy in to choosing it.